Peter Jacobsen and Mark Lye
I played in the pro-am last week
I played with this fella who was supposed to be our "A" player
He said he was a 5 handicap, well he played to a 25 handicap
He never hit a good shot and didn't come close to helping our team
And he said i was his favorite pro, right
He wore lime green slacks and an orange shirt
Man, he looked like a double scoop from Baskin-Robbins
And he was always stepping in my line
Boy I'm glad we switched golf courses at the Kemper Open
Congressional's a great course and Avenel's tough to walk
But I sure got tired of hearing about Ken Venturi's march
Down 18 on Sunday...every year!
Winning the Open is great but that's ancient history
When these TV announcers tell me how good they used to be
They give me the TV watching blues
I got the blues, I got the blues
I got the P.G.A. blues
I got the blues, I got the blues
Ever since I turned professional
I got the blues
I went to the press room yesterday after I shot a good round
Man, I was proud of myself, I was leading the tournament and it felt great
This one newsman started asking me all sorts of stupid questions
But I was cool, I answered them
He asked me why there weren't any superstars on TOUR today
He said there's no color
"Where are the hero's?" he asked
"Are you kidding me? Look around," I said
These guys today are superstars, it's just your job to write about 'em
Try getting off that warm couch and walk a few holes with
These players like they used to...you might find a superstar
We couldn't do these events on TOUR without the volunteers
All the committees are great
And the marshals are always a great help,
But guys, please pay attention out there will ya? You're supposed to help me find my ball, and to do that you gotta watch. And see it. Don't talk to the fans, man. Keep your eyes peeled for those shanked drives we hit every once in awhile, and don't tell me what I did wrong on the shot, OK?
Hey marshal, is my ball in or out?
Come on man, give me a break
I'm trying to earn a living out here
Man, you're killing me
Boy, I love these fans on TOUR today
But sometimes, just sometimes, the fans get in the way
You know you get on the tee, you sky your drive,
Chuck your iron, stub your chip
Then 3-putt for double-bogey
And then someone runs up to you and wants to tell you
He knows your Mom or your Dad. Hey pal!
Get outta my face! Not now!
When you go to the movies, do you talk back to the screen?
I got the blues, I got the blues
I got the P.G.A. blues
I got the blues, I got the blues
Ever since I turned professional
I got the blues
Take these blues away, will ya?
I think I'll take up tennis...nah!
"PGA Blues" words and music by Peter Jacobsen and Mark Lye
Copyright 1989 Jake Trout Music, ASCAP
All Rights Reserved. Used By Permission.